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Archive for May, 2011

Instincts…

Being a new mama, everything that I experience with Charley is a first.  For every milestone she hits…I hit it right alongside her.  We’re both beginners…learning together. 

I’m not big on baby books.  Sure I’ve heard about the “wonders” of Babywise, and the 5 S’s so your baby is the “happiest on the block”…how you should never break their routine and putting a baby to sleep after nursing…that’s a big no no.  Well…those books aint got nothin’ on my own mama instincts.  I proudly nurse Charley to sleep, and baby girl is sleeping through the night like a champ.

Check out the side-winder sleeper.

My parenting skills consist of advice from my own mother, friends’ personal experiences…but mainly just flying by the seat of my pants.  I have no clue when certain milestones are supposed to happen…all I know is Charley is an alert, happy baby who is undeniably loved.

 

It’s amazing…while I was pregnant I couldn’t get my hands on enough books to read about what I was going through.  Was this normal?  Is she supposed to get the hiccups that much?  Am I gaining enough weight?  However, the second Charley took her first breath of life my instincts took over.  This wasn’t something I read about or even anything I was told…this was something that dwelled deep within me and burst out the moment I heard her cry.  I was a mama.  I was in love…and I knew what to do.

It’s especially rewarding when you know your intincts are working. 

For example…I’ve been wondering when to put Charley in her own crib.  So far she’s been sleeping in her co-sleeper next to us, but she’s getting so big and loves to sleep with her arms spread out I figured she might be more comfortable in her own bed…I just couldn’t let go.  Last night I kept going back and forth…I would tell Andy tonight was the night.  Then five seconds later I would take it back.  I nursed Charley and put her down…in the co-sleeper.  Her eyes immediately popped open followed by the most pitiful whimper you’ve ever heard.  I picked her up, danced her back to sleep, and put her back down…with the same result.  This went on for about an hour until it finally clicked that maybe Charley’s own instints were setting in.  This time I put her in her crib…and she was out.

All through the night I wondered if I’d done the right thing…gazing into the empty co-sleeper…the room glowing by the light of the video monitor placed directly beside me.  I missed her.

But then when she woke up I knew my instincts were right.

There are no secrets to being a mother.  It’s a priceless gift that we possess and should never take for granted.  From the moment we saw the second line turn pink something changed within us.

Loops are thrown and there are moments where we want to pull our hair out in frustration, but never forget…we are strong and capable…we are mamas.

At our house...hair clips become fun accessories on rompers.

Two months I’ve been a mama…two months and I still have so much to learn, but I’m not scared.  I’ve got my God given instincts and the cutest little baby I know to guide me…and the more she develops the more confident I get.

We’re growing together, and before you know it she will be in my shoes…wondering if she’s doing the right thing for her own little munchkin…and she’ll realize that she too possesses the gift of mama intincts. 

What a beautiful feeling.

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As soon as I snapped this I knew I wanted to use it for i heart faces in some way.  Here is my little diva…being herself at only 2 months.  I’m in trouble…

Check out more great May faces!

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Tranquility…

Ahh the weekend…

Time to relax and enjoy the weather…to soak up the sun…play outdoors…get to know mother nature a little better.

Tranquility is the word of the day today.

Yes indeed…life is sweet in the Spencer home…

And this little bug with her eyes full of wonder makes it that much sweeter…

Everyone have a wonderful holiday weekend…enjoy the tranquility and soak it up.

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…down in my heart to stay!

My mamaw has been on my mind a lot these days…I posted a couple days ago about the overwhelming sadness I was feeling about her not being here.  Mamaw must have heard me because today I am consumed with joy…just like she always was.  Even while she was fighting cancer…scared at times…she was still so thankful and joyous over what she had.  She wouldn’t want me to be sad. 

She would want me to celebrate life.

This past weekend was big, huge, monumental for Charley.  My notorious baby girl is a brand new woman…thanks to her Lolly.

Napping hasn’t been Charley’s forte’…she loves sleeping on my chest, in the Ergo..heck, even in the carseat on a long trip…but anywhere else and those big eyes would pop right open.  I was beginning to wonder if Charley was one of those ‘special’ babies that didn’t need to nap very much…my mom informed me that those don’t exist.  Well mom…I am happy to admit that you told me so.  After spending the entire day with Lolly on Saturday, Charley is now a napping champ.  Turns out…Charley just wanted to sleep on her belly…but only for naps.  She is now sleeping 7-9 hours straight at night…on her back. 

Her spontaneity amazes me. 

Look who found her thumb...it's sad how excited I am about this.

 And the bonding that my own mama was able to have with her granddaughter…priceless.

Pjs given by Silvia Roca...I've known her since before I can remember and will always refer to her by her first and last name.

My mother is more than just a mother…she is my best friend, and I can only hope that Charley will be able to say that about me some day.  I want her to need to talk to me every day just like I do with my mom.  There is never a time that we just go through the motions as mother/daughter.  We celebrate every day…something she taught me.       

Lolly rocks.

You know who else rocks?  My sister’s son, Gilbert.  He is like a baby whisperer…drawn to Charley the second she came into the room.  I swear they had an entire conversation in the living room at my parents’ house. 

Charley did all sorts of bonding this weekend.  My friend Kali came over to visit on Sunday, and we had a grand ole time talking about babies and cloth diapers…and of course reminiscing of our past shananigans.  We’ve been friends since kindergarten, and although we’ve had some bumps along the way…our friendship seems to always fall back in place.  She is very dear to my heart…we are members of the club that nobody wants to be in…in fact, Kali has a double membership.  We have both miscarried a child.  However, it was our losses that brought us back together, and I was so thrilled to see Kali and her growing belly…carrying baby Silas.

Baby girl always knows where the camera is.

 And check out Charley’s cooing faces.

She really is a brand new baby.  Her napping was like a slap in the parenting face…of course she was cranky…she was tired!  I even felt confident enough to leave her at my parents house and let my brother and his wife (yes…WIFE) watch her while I did a photo shoot…while previously I was afraid to leave her with anyone because I feared they’d think my child was…well…not so sweet. 

…and she was a rockstar.

Coo face again...love it.

 

Aimee has definitely been bitten by the baby bug…and who could blame her.  I’m gonna go ahead and say it…I would love for Charley to have another cousin sooner than later.  There…now go procreate so our kids can play together.

And once again I blinked, and Charley grew up.  Watching her discover the little elephant on her bouncy seat…I’ve never been more proud.  You would think she had learned to write her name in Chinese, but in our house, we celebrate the little things…and this little discovery has allowed me to fix meals, eat them, and put the dishes away…without trying to balance a baby in my lap.

Baby girl is growing up…big time.

The 'Charley/Pops' bond continues to grow...

Sunday was spent sulking in the loss of a wonderful woman…

…but today is a brand new day.

…and I’m so happy…so very happy.

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Therapy…

I’m missin this woman real bad…

Last night my mamaw visited me in a dream.  I don’t remember much of it…but the part I do remember has been haunting me all day.  I got to give her a big hug…I’m not talking about a ‘good to see you hug’…no…this was the kind of hug you never want to let go of…in fact, I dont’ think I ever did.  I’m not sure if you’re supposed to be able to smell in dreams, but I smelled my Mamaw…and she smelled just like I remember her…she had a clean smell to her.  Maybe it was because of the hand sanitzer she always had with her, or maybe it was the lotion that made her hands so soft…but I know I smelled her…

…and I can’t let it go.

My heart aches I miss her so badly.  I want her to see how Charley is growing…hold her and feel her weight.  I want to be able to take pictures of her and Papaw holding their great-grandbaby.

She is missing…

This post wasn’t planned…but I think I needed some therapy…and that is what this blog has become…a collection of my inner thoughts. 

Mamaw…I know you’re not here, but I know you’re here...watching over us.  I’ve been longing to hug you since you left, and last night I got to…

…and I’m never letting you go.

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Love this challenge because I love this color.  Yellow=happy in my opinion.  🙂

Check out more yellow!

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Later…

We’ve been busy…

bonding with relatives that we wish lived closer…

discovering new things…

and just being so darn cute.

but we have more bonding and discovering to do today so blogging will have to wait until later…and yes, I realize that I’m blogging as I type this, but we all know this isn’t a real post. 

So until next time…

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